Dumb Like
by Bondomu
Summary: From Maybe Friends to Friends to More. [FrostIron/LokiTony]
1. Chapter 1

**What's this, you ask? More Marvel? Szay what has happened to you!? My less-than-regular anime + comics schedule will be back eventually, I doNotPromise. Whoops. Oh and yes, I got a new computer!**

 **Pair: Loki \ Tony**

 **Start**

It was the second time he'd noticed him, sitting there in the corner of the cafe. The first time Tony had noticed him the other man had simply been chewing on the end of a pen as he scrolled through his laptop, barely ever actually writing something down on the small notepad he had with him. Tony only noticed because the pencil-chewing had a noise that could not be ignored. But the man had left before Tony got annoyed enough to get up and ask him to stop.

But now it was day 2 and pencil man was back at it again with that awful annoying noise. He looked deep in thought, though, so Tony decided this time to jam his headphones into his ears and blast the music just loud enough to drown out the noise, but just quiet enough that people in the surrounding tables couldn't hear the music he played, because as much as people liked to deny it- you most definitely can hear what someone plays through their headphones. He'll ignore it just this once, and should the man return again tomorrow and continue his antics, well, Tony won't have any of it. At least, that's what he thought.

It had been nearly half an hour and pencil man was still there. Tony had barely gotten any of his own work out of the way because he'd noticed pencil man had stopped chewing on the pencil and has been staring with a blank expression at his laptop screen for the past 10- Tony checks the time again- the past 15 minutes without so much as a blink. He wasn't going to lie, he was starting to get a little worried he might have had a stroke and died somehow still sitting perfectly straight in his chair, with his admittedly nice ink black hair cascading over his shoulders. The pencil was still in the mans mouth, hanging there limply as he continued to frown at his laptop.

Tony started to wonder if the man was stuck on some kind problem and was wracking his brain for a solution. As he was thinking it over he heard the telltale sound of pencil snapping. Lurching Tony out of his thoughts he once again glanced over to pencil man, whom had apparently just bit down on the pencil so hard it had broken. Tony sighed, enough was enough; helping this pencil Destructor out seemed to be the option for now. Besides, he looked so helpless at the moment, despite the completely blank stare he was giving the laptop.

Rubbing his temples in exasperation, Tony leaped up from his seat in the middle of the cafe and ambled over to pencil man. The other man quickly noticed Tony approaching him and glanced up with a slight frown and curious stare. Before pencil man could get a word out, Tony spoke up quick.

"You look like you are having some trouble, and I was wondering if you needed any help? I couldn't help but notice you have been staring at your screen for well over ten minutes now." Tony says, watching as pencil man just stares at him.

"You were watching me? Why?" Pencil man replies, his voice could be described as velvety yet rich.

"You kept chewing your pencil, it was loud and distracting." Tony shrugs, "I was going to ask you to stop but I didn't feel up for an argument."

"I see." Pencil nods, "So instead you offer your 'help'."

"If you don't want it, I can always leave." Tony says, jabbing a finger towards the exit of the cafe.

"It's not that I am declining your offer, it's more to do with the fact there is probably nothing you could help me with." Pencil man replies, leaning back in his chair.

"What, don't think I'm smart enough for the challenge?" Tony smirks, "I promise you I can handle it- I happen to be very intelligent."

"Cocky, aren't you?" Pencil man huffs, "But not the point. This has nothing to do with academics."

"Then what's got you stumped?" Tony frowns. "Maybe I can still help."

"Why, pray tell, would I share what the problem is with a stranger, hm?" Pencil mean says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Geez, buddy, I was just offering my help. Could have turned me down, you know?" Tony replies, raising his hands in a defensive motion and slowly backing away.

Pencil man is quiet for a second before quickly responding, "I got fired."

Tony stops in his tracks and lowers his hands, "What?"

Pencil man audibly sighs and looks away, reaching out to his laptop and turning it around for Tony to look at. "Fired."

Tony shuffles up to the table again and bends to read over the email. With a grimace he pulls back and glances down to 'Loki' as the email had addressed him as Ah, a familiar name. "Shit, man, fired for pranks? Ruthless. They must've been pretty grand to get you kicked."

Loki snorts, "My pranks are nothing less than the best." He slowly shuts the laptop, not bothering to close the browser.

Tony nods, and slowly slides into the seat across from Loki. "What are you going to do now?" He asks.

"I guess I shall just have to find yet another job." Loki sighs.

"You speak as if this is not the first time you've been fired." Tony frowns.

"I have been fired roughly 4 times now." Loki replies, holding back a small smirk as if he was proud of this accomplishment.

"4 Times?" Tony does a double take, "That's a lot, what kind of pranks did you do?"

"I would tell you but I have more pressing matters to attend to at the moment; job finding yet again being at the top of the list." Loki replies, his smirk fading, "As I said before, you couldn't possibly help me. But thank you for thinking you could."

"Well, you know maybe I could still help you out?" Tony offers, "I can help you find a job, maybe you could even get a job at my company, depending of course on your skills."

"I appreciate the offer, but I do not even know where you work, besides- I doubt your boss would approve of me." Loki says, slowly tucking his laptop back inside the emerald colored bag by his side. "Based on your attire, I assume an office job or perhaps something higher?" He gestures towards Tony's dress shirt and slacks.

"Don't think you'd be qualified, huh?" Tony grins. "You never know, maybe my boss might make an allowance for you."

"Oh please, I'm perfectly qualified for most jobs, but my not-so-perfect job record might not secure me any such job from now on since I've exhausted all of my father's contacts." Loki replies, "Which does seem like I'm being spoiled, but my father has high hopes for his sons, even his... less loved son. Wants us to follow in his steps and lead his company. I used to want that, and it would be nice to run it, but I'm sick of him always giving the better options to my brother. Leaving me with his... leftovers."

"Geez, sounds rough dude." Tony says.

"Apologies for rambling." Loki mutters, "I should probably go, now I have to find a new job. Bills have to be paid. Your offer to help was thoughtful, but not needed. I'm sure I can make my own way."

Tony watches as Loki gets up and walks for the door, and oh- oh man. He might be sad to see him leave but oh, it was nice to watch him go; and it was that kind of thinking that made Tony jump and gently place a hand on Loki's shoulder. The other man just glanced behind, an eyebrow raised.

"It's clear you don't want my help at the moment but please, can you at least take my contact details in case you change your mind?" Tony says, trying to hold Loki's gaze with his own.

Their staring match ended after a few long seconds with Loki sighing and rubbing a hand down his face in exasperation, "You sure are insistent. Fine, I'll take it- but I assure you I will not need your help." He replies.

Tony grins and pulls out one of his business cards, scribbling his personal number above the business one. "There. I await to hear from you."

Loki grabs the card and stares at it before shifting his gaze back up to Tony, "You work with Stark? Is this a joke?"

Tony frowns, "Why would it be a joke?"

"Stark himself does business with my brother, have you been sent here to get me working with my brother again?" Loki glares, "If so, I even less want your help." Loki slips the card into Tony's pocket.

"Wait, I promise you that's not the case. I'm Stark. Tony, I mean, and I swear I didn't actually know who you were but you say I work with your brother?" Tony frowns, "Judging by your name, which I saw in your email by the way, then your brother must be Thor? I mean, who else could he be?"

Loki glares and looks away in irritation, "Yes, that would be him."

"Ok look, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were Thor's brother until just now, and now I know you most definitely don't want my help in the job department but... take my card anyway, and I'll still help you out if you ever need it." Tony smiles, not wanting to scare off Loki now that he knows that family and work to do with family are sensitive topics, "Or hell, maybe even texting buddies." Ok, now he's just grasping for reasons to talk.

Loki seems to genuinely consider it for a moment, before reaching forward taking the card back out of Tony's pocket with a sigh, "Alright, fine. I concede; you win, I'll take your number, but you can't... mention any of this to anyone, alright? If word gets to my brother, or Gods Forbid, my Father, I'll never hear the end of it and neither will you."

"I promise not to mention this to a soul." Tony grins.

Loki gives a curt nod and continues on his way towards the door. Tony smirks and heads back to his own table to continue working on some digital designs, he'd almost completely forgotten about his own belongings. Barely a half hour later his phone buzzes to alert him of a text. Grabbing his phone he checks the messages.

 **From Unknown to ScienceDaddy**

 **[Unknown]:** You wanted to be 'texting buddies' as I recall. Here's your chance.

Tony smiles down at the text, and as he begins to type out a reply, he begins to feel a liminal sort of feeling wash over him, as if things in his life were about to change. He sits send on the text and saves Loki's number.

 **[Loki + ScienceDaddy]**

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** You were quick to text me ;)

It was hours before a reply came back.

 **End**

 **Never thought I'd be writing multichap for the MCU universe and actually uploading? I mean, we will all ignore that dreadful SHSS thing I uploaded all those years ago (and we can ignore it now because I deleted it). Yes, this is going to be multichap. But the question remains; will I ever get around to finishing it?**


	2. Chapter 2

They'd been chatting for a week now. It was on and off at first, Loki managing to surprise Tony with incredibly long waits between texts; Tony wondered if Loki ever even checked his phone more than once or twice a day. He supposed it because the other man was busy job hunting now that he'd been let go from his previous job- and boy did Tony want to help pretty badly, but he knew Loki would say no and he really didn't want to press the matter and push Loki out of his comfort zone. But at least the offer was always on the table, should Loki ever need it (or want it, in this case).

Considering how long it takes Loki to reply, there hasn't really been a huge conversation between them, more like one incredibly slow yet continuous one. Although there is a long wait between texts, once Loki actually has picked up his phone, they chat non stop for a few minutes before he suddenly just disappears again. It's weird, but Tony ignores it because he figures that's just the kind of guy Loki is. Tony paces around his workshop, some wine in his hand, wondering how he can get Loki into a proper conversation; figuring out Loki's interests seem to be a good start, but how to ask him is the real question. For a second he considers asking Thor, but shoves the thought from his mind, remembering Loki making him promise not to tell anyone about them being 'texting buddies'.

With impeccable timing his phone buzzes, and as Tony stares at the text on the screen all he can think is 'well that's one hell of a conversation starter'. A Text from Thor himself, asking Tony if he wanted to come chill over at his place tomorrow. Apparently there was a party of some sorts, and Tony was invited. This almost surely meant Loki was invited as well. He'd have to talk to Loki right away, plan how they'll interact at the party so as not cause suspicion. With a huff, Tony quickly writes out a reply to Thor, telling him he'll be there, before opening up his chat with Loki. He was surprised by how fast Loki replied this time. Perhaps he does check his phone after all. All thought of whether or not Loki checks his phone and doesn't answer flies out the window once they start talking, and Tony is pleasantly surprised by Loki's sudden enthusiasm.

 **[LowkeyLoki + ScienceDaddy]**

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Hey. Your brother invited me to a party at his place, just a heads up in case he invited you too. Just letting you know dude- should we avoid each other there or? up2u

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Yes, I was invited to the party. Considering, to Thor, this will be our 'first meeting', he will likely introduce me to you. Normally I try to skip out on his parties but if I did it this time then...

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** It will be the fourth time in a row. Even I can't be that cruel. Sometimes.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** 4!? Wow. You should definitely make an appearance at this party.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Yes, I figured I should do as much. Keep them happy and off my back.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** We could hang out after the party if you're up for it?

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** They'll see us leave. Too risky.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** How about when Thor introduces us and we shake hands, I'll slip you my house key, or vice-versa, whatever, and when you take your leave once you've had enough of the party.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** boom! I'll text you my address, or vice-versa, you know. One of us leaves half an hour after the other so as to not arouse suspicion.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Perhaps we should just wait and see how the party goes before we make any plans.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Yeah that would work.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** You never know what my brother may throw our way. Could be anything.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** True.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** You planning any spectacular pranks? That would be fun to see.

 **[Loki]:** Perhaps. Who knows.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** dude I really hope you do something. Like pouring something foul in the drinks and making people think it's spiked.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Fake spiked drinks, huh? Childsplay. How about pouring a bottle of lube on the stairs, instead? People would be too drunk to notice.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Ow, sounds painful :/

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Your point?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I'm in, obviously. I'll help you get the lube, that way we can smuggle more smaller bottles in without our pockets looking too suspicious.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Sneaking it in is too simple. I prefer to steal it straight from my brothers bedside table. But you bringing some would help. So go for.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Brand doesnt matter. But for fun, let's get scented.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Lmao yes. Half the guests will smell strange by the end of the party.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** They would anyway, but perhaps they will smell slightly better.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I'll try not to drink too much if we're going to hang out afterwards, btw.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Appreciated. I wont hang out with someone who's wasted.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Consider it noted!

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Out of curiosity, what were we going to do after the party?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I don't know, I didn't plan that far ahead. Is there anything you would like to do?

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** We can't really decide right now anyway, since we're not even sure where we are actually going after the party or if we'll even get the chance to leave. But, if we end up going to my place, be prepared to be disappointed.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Why would I be disappointed?

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Wouldn't you like to know.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:**... How vague.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Good.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I guess I'll see you there then. It is just tomorrow after all.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** I shall see you there. Also, damn my brother for never giving much warning to these events.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Yeah, he is terrible at giving people a heads up.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Terrible at giving a heads up, but not terrible at giving head I hear.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Dude.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Too out of line?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Just a little surprised.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** About my brother being good at blowjobs?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:**? no ? It's common knowledge he sucks dick like a kid on candy. I meant the fact that you mentioned it. Idk.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I thought you might have been.. you know, a prude or something. You know, nice hair and a cool but reserved kinda feel... Urgh, Ignore this entire text Idk how to put this into words at the moment.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** You thought I was a prude? You're the first. Stuck up and pretentious? Sometimes, yes. Prude? Not once, that I'm aware of.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Also you said my hair is nice. Did you think that before or after you found out I was Thor's brother?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Before! But why does it matter? Also sorry for calling you a prude. Clearly, you're not and I'm wrong. oops lol

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** It matters. But also thank you for your apology...? Are you drunk?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I'm not. But how did you know I've been drinking?

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** My first clue was your 'consider it noted!' sounded kind of guilty in my head, but I thought that as usual I'm reading too much into things. But then as our conversation progressed your texts became increasingly less put together than normal. But what really hit the nail in the head...

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** You said my hair was nice. I know I haven't known you long, and I met you face to face once, but not once have you complimented something, let alone an actual living being.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Hmm. Acceptable. Why aren't you some kind of forensic scientist? You'd be great.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** I don't think figuring out you are tipsy makes me great at being a forensic scientist, or that in general. Maybe a lazy small town cop with nothing better to do, perhaps.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Whatever.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** oh shit

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** What?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Pepper was standing behind me and I didn't notice lol

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Pepper?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Friend and coworker. She's nice. Forgot she was supposed to be coming over today.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Did she see our conversation? Is she going to tell Thor?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I don't think she saw tbh. I'm on the couch, phone so ready to fall on my face. Wine in one hand.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Pepper's glaring at me. She hates it when I forgot she's coming over.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** You should probably speak to her. I have to get back to what I'm doing.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Nooo, distract me from inevitable boredom.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:** Distract yourself.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Hmm, now Pepper is asking who I'm talking to. See, she doesn't know it's you. I was right.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I'm changing your name in my phone to WorkDistraction to annoy Pepper if she tries to take my phone from me. She's done it a lot.

 **[LowkeyLoki]:**...

 **[nickname changed to WorkDistraction]**

 **[WorkDistraction]:** Did you actually do it?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** yep!

 **[WorkDistraction]:** What did you have my name as before?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Just your normal name sorta, I hadn't thought of much of a nickname yet.

 **[WorkDistraction]:** I see.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** My nickname on my phone is Science Daddy lol

 **[WorkDistraction]:** Science Daddy? You have children?

 **[WorkDistraction]:** Actually wait, don't answer that. I'm a fool.

 **[WorkDistraction]:** Actually, wait again. Answer it.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** no children lol

 **[WorkDistraction]:** As I thought, I'm still a fool. You may ignore that entire part of the conversation.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Maybe I don't want to.

 **[WorkDistraction blocked ScienceDaddy's number]**

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Hey come on dude :((

 _[Message failed to send]_

"Tony, who are you talking to? Stop ignoring me." Pepper grumbles, hands on her hips.

"I can't believe he actually blocked me." Tony grins, "Sorry Pepper, I forgot you were coming over."

"Yes, you tend to conveniently forget every single time." She replies, "But let's get down to business. I'm sure you've already got Thor's invite to that party, I have some information that I need to tell you about it."

"About the party? Isn't it just another of his silly gatherings?" Tony asks.

"That's what I thought, until he told me he was so excited about arranging it and inviting people that he forgot to tell everyone it's supposed to be surprise birthday party." Pepper says, rubbing her temple in stress.

"Birthday party? For whom?" Tony frowns.

"His brother, Loki. I've only met the guy once and I'm sure he'd hate a surprise party." Pepper says.

"Ah." Tony really wished for Loki to unblock him soon, "Interesting. Well, lets get started on our work so we can get it out of the way before the party, huh?" Tony had to get this work out of the way so he could ring Loki on a different device later on and warn him about what's in store for him.

"Hmm, strangely enthusiastic." Pepper narrows her eyes in suspicion, "I'd be happy, but this is clearly suspicious."

"Nope, nothing suspicious here, Pep."Tony shrugs, avoiding eye contact with Pepper, "Don't know what you're talking about."

"You know, I'm going to drop the topic because I cant even begin to fathom what you could possibly be thinking right now, and honestly? I'm not even sure I want to hear it." Pepper pinches the bridge of her nose, "Let's just get to work."

It had taken Tony a fair few hours to sign all the documents and legalities that Pepper had brought for him. By the time he was done, his hands hurt and he was silently begging for another drink. Pepper had left a few minutes prior to Tony finishing up his work, telling him that she would collect the documents the next morning and that should her forget her again, she'll throw coffee on whatever project he was working on. Tony had smiled fondly at that; takes a good woman to throw the best threats.

Tony jolted out of his thoughts suddenly, remembering that he had to get in touch with Loki as soon as possible, to tell him about his own surprise party. He hadn't known Loki for long, but he knew that he was a man who most certainly wouldn't enjoy a surprise party. Especially since they already had certain plans formed about the party. Change of tactics, Tony thinks.

Tony makes his way to his workshop, to a draw where he keeps a multitude of different phones for all different occasions. He grabs one out at random and quickly adds Loki into his contacts.

 **[Loki + TheRealTechGod]**

 **[TheRealTechGod]:** Loki it's me. Your buddy you blocked. I have important information for you about the party.

 **[Loki]:** You mean the fact it's a surprise party?

 **[TheRealTechGod]:** Oh. You already know. Damn. I was going to tell you.

 **[Loki]:** Actually I didn't know, but I had my suspicions.

 **[Loki]:** You confirmed it for me. Thanks.

 **[TheRealTechGod]:** Fuck. I've been played.

 **[TheRealTechGod]:** What about our plans? Wanna stick to them still?

 **[Loki]:** Pranking, yes. Of course. But as I said before, we will still have to see how the night goes if we are to make our escape.

[ **TheRealTechGod]:** Ahh yes. Makes sense.

 **[TheRealTechGod]:** Can you unblock my other number. I hate texting using this phone.

 **[Loki]:** Fine.

Tony grins and shuts off the phone he's holding, pulling out his main one again.

 **[WorkDistraction + ScienceDaddy]**

 **[ScienceDaddy]** Thank you for unblocking me :D

 **[nickname changed to LubeParty Master]**

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Since it is my own surprise party, what are you going to get me?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** My friendship. Nah, joking. We already have that.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** What would you like?

 **[LubeParty Master]:** After our pranks, I'm going to give you 15 minutes to smuggle me out of the party without anyone noticing. That can be my gift.

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Also just bring a bottle of wine as well or something, make it look like you brought an actual gift.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** You really thought this out, huh. Kudos to you, mr Wise.

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Thanks? Not sure if you're complimenting or sarcastic.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Both, I guess.

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Right.

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Anyway, that wretched party is tomorrow. I'm going to head out now and get a few small bottles of lube, to add to the collection I'm going to steal from Thor, and whatever amount you bring.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Right, I'll do that too. There's a store just around the corner from me anyway.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then?

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Yeah. See you then.


	3. Chapter 3

There wasn't long left until the party. Tony was pacing back and forth about a block down from Thor's house. He'd parked far enough away so he and Loki could make a run for it with a lower chance of being caught. Tony felt his heart racing from the nerves, not unusual, it was a social gathering and no matter how many times one does it, it still ignites the nerves within. But today, his heart was racing because he was actually going to have some real fun. He can feel the adrenaline seeping into him at the thought of ditching the party with the supposed birthday boy, and his new friend. He mentally double checked he hadn't forgotten anything. Lube? Hidden. Wine? In hand. Countdown to the polite time to arrive? 10 minutes. Tony supposes he should start walking to the party. It'll take about 10 minutes to arrive anyway, from where he parked.

Finally he arrives, he doesn't bother knocking, the door is wide open anyway and a few people are shuffling through. He silently slips in behind the group and makes his way straight to the bathroom. He's been to Thor's place enough to know it inch by inch. The bathroom is free, as expected as it's only the beginning of the night. Tony darts in, locking the door behind himself. He quickly pulls out his phone.

 **[LubeParty Master + ScienceDaddy]**

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I'm here, btw.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Also maybe change my name in your phone in case people see my name.

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Noted. Also, I already did that before I came.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Oh neat, what's my name now?

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Doesn't matter, honestly. Just a random name.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Damn. Could make my name Prank Assistant or something.

 **[LubeParty Master]:** I could. But I wont.

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Wait, what do you have as my name? Is it no longer Work Distraction? I have a feeling you've changed it.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Yep. You're LubeParty Master now, babe.

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Wow. Sounds like I'm the God of Orgies or something.

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Oh shit, Thor's coming. Probably to tell me off for being on my phone during my own party. Also, he got too excited and 'spoiled' my surprise party for me like 3 hours ago.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Oh you're already here! Cool. I've locked myself in the bathroom to text you.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Thor probably grabbed you. I'm heading out to 'meet' you now! Can't wait to be introduced to you haha.

Tony shoves his phone into his pocket and slips back out of the bathroom, down the hall and into the main room. The crowd had grown significantly in the five minutes since Tony had arrived. As quick as he can he tries to make his way to the bar area unnoticed. He's nearly there until a hand on his shoulder stops him in his path. He silently prays it's not any of his coworkers, but as he turns he's pleased to see it's Thor, and there behind the man was Loki. Tony tries hard to not let his gaze wander to Loki.

"Tony! Thanks for coming. Are you enjoying the party?" Thor grins, giving Tony's shoulder a friendly squeeze. Tony slips his hand into his own pocket to where the keys to his car are resting.

"Yes, it's great. Well done Thor on a great turnout." Tony replies, deciding it was a good time to turn his attention to Loki, "Oh my! Who's this gorgeous man? Is this your new partner, Thor? A good choice." Oh, and _Oh my_ , does he like the glare he receives from Loki for that.

"What? No. That's Loki, I was going to introduce you both seeing as this is his surprise party, after all. It's best he knows the guests." Thor replies quickly. "Loki, this is my friend Tony. We do business a lot. Tony, this is Loki- my little brother."

"Oh, so you're the brother I hear so much about. Nice to finally meet you." Tony grins, pulling his hand out of his pocket and reaching out, grabbing Loki's hand and shaking it by force. Loki knows, he can feel the keys. The handshake ends, Tony's keys are in Loki's pockets now.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stark." Loki nods.

"I'm going to leave you two to get better acquainted then! Bruce is here." Thor grins, and goes to start walking away from them.

"Remember to wear protection!" Loki calls after Thor, who in reply gives him the finger and shuffles off.

"I wonder when they'll hook up?" Tony wonders aloud.

"I'm willing to place a bet." Loki says, a sly smirk spread across his face, "$100 to the winner."

"I think I can get in on that action." Tony grins, "My bet is they'll confess tonight."

"Hm, that was going to be my bet too." Loki huffs in mock annoyance, "New terms, then. If they hook up tonight, we celebrate with that wine you're holding after we've snuck out, if we manage to sneak out; if not, then, it shall go on the lubed stairs."

"Not worth it, the wine is shit. I'll buy a new bottle if we celebrate, if we both lose this bet then we'll each spend a week buying dinner for each other." Tony replies, shrugging.

"A nice sentiment, but way too time consuming- we both are far too busy for that." Loki frowns, "Although, if we both lose, provided we can sneak away from the party, how about we watch whichever movie has the worst reviews online?"

"Ooh, bound to be bad if everyone ever thinks it's the worst. You have a deal." Tony grimaces. "By the way, the keys I slipped you are for my car. I drove. You know that bus station around the corner, way up by the main street? The one with the graffiti that says 'suck dick get sick' in messy purple spray? I'm parked in the parking lot of the park behind it."

"You could have just said you were parked at the park up the road." Loki blanches.

"Right. I could have." Tony grins, "Whoops."

Loki stares at him for a second, before replying, "Hey, that lady over there is staring at you." His gaze flickers to just behind to Tony.

Tony turns to glance behind him, seeing Pepper leaning against the bar. Once Tony catches her gaze, she gets up and walks over to the both of them. "I see you finally met Loki, here." She says.

"Yep. Great guy." Tony replies, grinning still.

"I don't believe we have met." Loki says, holding his hand out for Pepper to shake.

"Actually we have, but it was a few years ago so it's ok if you don't remember." She smiles in a friendly way, shaking Loki's hand regardless. "I'm Pepper, by the way. I work with Tony."

"Oh. My apologies, then." Loki says, casting a glance to Tony. "Are you enjoying this party? I sure hope Thor thinks you are. His idea, and all."

"Hm, it's ok. Neither of us really want to be here, huh?" She smirks, "I can cover you if you'd like to escape at any time, consider it my gift to you."

"I'll take note of the offer, however I have important plans tonight that I must see through." Loki smirks, "However, for your troubles I suggest that you don't use the stairs leading to the second floor."

With a nod towards Tony and a confused stare from Pepper, Loki makes his way over to a table where some carefully wrapped gifts were laying, clearly from party-goers to Loki. Loki picks up a bucket shaped parcel and carries it with him out of the main room and through the door leading to the hallway stairs. Tony takes it as their cue to start the pranks.

"Well, Pep, I'd best be off. Clint still owes me from our bet this morning, and I'm coming to collect." Tony says, quickly following int he direction Loki went.

As soon as he's left the room he feels a text come through on his phone.

 **[LubeParty Master + ScienceDaddy]**

 **[LubeParty Master]:** Meet me in the upstairs bathroom, the one in the guest bedroom third door to your left as you take a right at the top of the stairs.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** On my way!

Tony bolted up the stairs and skidded into the room, shutting the door carefully behind himself. As soon as the door was shut a hand grabbed him by the shoulder and wheeled him into the bathroom. The bathroom door was slammed shut and locked.

"Why the rush, Loki? Party only just started." Tony grins, going over to take a seat on the baths edge.

"We all know Thor only did this party as an excuse. I mean, he means well and I'm sure his sentiments were there- but you know how he is." Loki waves a hand in dismissal, "He get's carried away."

"Yeah, he does." Tony replies. "What's in the present?" He says, eyeing the package Loki had with him.

"Lube, obviously. How else was I going to sneak it in?" Loki rolls his eyes, tearing off the wrapping paper.

"Animal lube?" Tony frowns, reading the label, "That's a thing? The fuck do animals need lube for?"

"That sentence lets me know you know nothing about human assisted animal birthing." Loki says, "Not that there's anything wrong with you not knowing, not everyone can be expected to know. Vets use it a lot."

"I see..." Tony replies.

"Besides, it's cheaper for me to get this one anyway. I don't have to pay the ridiculous shelf prices that petshops throw at you these days." Loki says. "Also, I poured mint essence with vanilla essence into it to make it smell."

"Why's it cheaper for you?" Tony asks.

"I did a veterinary course years ago, even though I don't really have a huge interest for it. Got my vet license so I can buy direct from a supplier rather than wait for it to be shelved. Cheaper, too." Loki shrugs, unscrewing the lid. "You ready?"

"Yeah, let's do it." Tony says, standing up and grabbing his pitiful small bottles of lube from his pockets.

Loki smirks and unlocks the bathroom door again, peaking out to see if the coast is clear. It is, and now the two of them a making a mad dash for the stairs. As soon as they reach the top, and notice everyone is either in the bar and/or living room, or they are in the games room, Loki starts pouring the big bottle of lube down the stairs. Marble stairs, Tony notes silent to himself. Tony squeezes the bottles on the hand railings; might as well go all in, right? Loki sends him a smirk as he watches Tony spread the lube over the hardwood railings. After what seemed like forever despite being only a minute or so, Loki puts the bottle down and digs in his pocket, pulling out a small bottle of lube, strawberry flavoured.

"Thor's favorite." Loki grins, squirting the bottle all over the place, "Straight from his bedstand."

Tony laughs, "Brilliant."

At that moment the doors near the bottom of the stairs start to open, chatty voices filtering through. Loki and Tony glance at each other and run back to the room they were hiding in previously; shutting the door to the bathroom just in time to hear a shriek and a thump. Loki and Tony are going in red in the face from trying to hold in their laughter.

"This is going to be great! No one can get up the stairs." Loki smirks, "Therefore, I shall not be bothered by hassling guests and the meaningless wellwishes."

"Great and all, yeah, but if they can't get up, how will we get down?" Tony replies, seemingly having only thought of this just now.

"Ah."Loki says slowly, glancing around himself in thought, "Ok. In Thor's main bedroom, there's a balcony. We can jump from there to that stupid tree he loves with the thick branches."

"Oh yeah, he locked himself out once and climbed it to get in." Tony remembers, laughing.

"He did? That's hilarious." Loki smirks. "Well, let's go. I'd love to stick around and see the fruits of our labor, but best not to be caught at the scene of the crime."

Quietly they slipped out of the bathroom and out the door of the bedroom, making their way down the hall to Thor's bedroom. That's when they heard one of the doors in the other hall in front of the stairs. Chattering voices, low but somewhat recognizable. Loki and Tony speed up and quickly shut Thor's door behind them. They start walking to the door to the balcony when Loki pipes up.

"Hang on, let me just return his precious lube and then wash my hands." He says, walking over to Thor's bedside table.

He was about to open it when the voices from the other hall were suddenly outside Thor's door. Loki looked panicked for a second before throwing the empty bottle of lube onto the bed and making a mad dash for Tony. Grabbing Tony's wrist he dragged them both into Thor's bathroom, which luckily already had the door ajar slightly. He managed to half close the door before the main bedrooms door was burst open. Loki and Tony slipped into the bath as quietly as they could, standing flush against the corner wall, just enough that the shower curtain might hide them, but neither could be too sure. They recognized one of the voices as Thor.

"Holy shit, they're totally going to come in the bathroom, you know." Tony whispers as quiet as he can.

"Probably, but in case they don't, let's not make any noise." Loki whispers back. It's strangely quiet outside the bathroom.

A moan.

"Oh my god they're fucking. Thor's fucking someone." Tony starts to laugh but Loki clamps a hand over his mouth.

"Keep it in or we're going to be caught." Loki hisses, "My god, do I hope it's Bruce. I could really use that wine right now."

"You realize if it is Bruce, then neither of us get the wine?" Tony asks after having pried Loki's hand off his mouth, "And before you ask why, as I can see you're going to, Bruce is my friend and I know him well enough he wont put out on the first date no matter who it is."

"You're saying if they're fucking, then they've been dating already and nobody knew?" Loki whispers back.

"Yeah, basically." Tony shrugs. Another moan comes from the room and yeah, Tony thinks, yeah that's Bruce for sure. Loki can clearly hear it now too. "Well I guess neither of us win, then. Or lose, I guess. By default, anyway."

"How long do you think they'll be at it?" Loki whispers.

"How should I know?" He replies.

"Didn't you have sex with Thor once? You should know how long he lasts." Loki frowns.

"He told you about that!?" Tony tries to keep his voice low, but it comes out as a strangled whisper.

"He tells me everything whether I want to hear it or not." Loki shrugs.

"Holy shit, this is embarrassing. I'm embarrassed, for both of us. I'm so sorry you had to hear about it- it was only just once or twice, I promise." Tony rambles, a bored look from Loki shuts him up enough to give the other an answer, "He lasts forever, like a duracell battery with the energy of a rabbit being chased. Sorry."

"I'd say TMI, but that information dump was critical to our escape here." Loki grimaces.

A voice from the bedroom says "Hey we're out of lube? Don't remember using this much last time..."

"There's some in the bathroom, top draw." Thor's voice, panting slightly.

"Oh shit, oh shit." Tony starts muttering. "Ok, I have plan." He babbles quietly, sitting down in the tub and stretching out enough to be able to lie flat, thanking every God out there that the tub was considerably large. Loki seems to get the idea and lays down on top of Tony, they manage to move the shower curtain just enough that they are somewhat mostly covered. Tony figured if Bruce and Thor were in the midst of getting ready to fuck, then they're minds are probably lust hazed and not taking care of their surroundings. Tony hopes, anyway, that in Bruce's rush to grab the lube that he doesn't notice their feet still in plain view of anyone walking into the bathroom.

They wait with baited breath as they hear Bruce rummaging around in the drawers. "I cant find it!" He yells out.

"Did you check the bath? I think we used some there at some point." Thor bellows back.

Loki's eyes go comically wide and if their situation were less tense, Tony probably would have burst out laughing. Instead they both seemingly have a mini heart attack each for a few seconds before they hear Bruce yell "Wait, found it. It's still on the counter!"

Tony covers his face with his hands in relief, and Loki lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, letting his head drop onto Tony's shoulders. "Holy shit." Loki whispers.

"I'm too old for this, I feel like a teenager again." Tony mumbles. "Stress is not good for the baby."

"What baby?" Loki leans up, frowning in concern.

"Me, I'm the baby." Tony sighs. "Let's figure out how to get out. Pretty sure there was a window in here. Think we can get from there to the balcony?"

"Even if we cant get to the balcony, I'm going to risk jumping just to get away." Loki replies, heaving himself up off of Tony, and glancing behind the curtain.

Tony silently misses the warm proximity he had with Loki for a second before sitting up himself.

"Hey, good news. Bruce shut the door behind himself. We have free reign of the bathroom for now." Loki says, "Let's go quickly, before they realize that there isn't any condoms."

"If they already got the lube, then they're probably not worrying. Or Thor had some on him." Tony shrugs, slipping out of the bathtub and ambling over to the window. He unlocks it and as quietly as he can, slips it open. "Oh my god we're saved."

"What is it?" Loki whispers, walking over to Tony. "Oh my God, no, Don't."

"Pepper!" Tony whispers, loud as he can. Watching as Pepper confusedly looks up from her spot under the window sill, her phone was in her hand and a glass of wine in the other. Looks like she had managed to escape the party after all. "We need your help."

"What on earth are you doing? Why are you whispering? Who's 'we'?" She replies, standing up and slipping her phone into her handbag.

"Loki and are locked in here by accident. We were going to play a prank on Thor, but it backfired and we're stuck. Loki's going to cash in that offer you made before to help him escape. Can you get the ladder from Thor's garage? Also please hurry." Tony whispers frantically.

"You're with Loki? Ok fine, but why are you whispering? You haven't explained that yet. I already know what you did with the stairs so I cant come up and get you anyway." Pepper frowns.

"I'll explain later, please hurry Pep!" Tony whispers.

"Please Ms. Potts." Loki whispers, leaning out the window too, seemingly given up.

"Oh, fine. But you have to tell me everything." Pepper scowls as she jogs over to the garage and slips inside. Bless her, Tony thinks.

The moans in the other room are increasing in volume and Tony worries they might finish earlier than planned.

"You friend Pepper seems to be a godsend." Loki whispers, watching as Pepper emerges from the garage carrying a ladder.

When the ladder is up, Tony lets Loki go first, seeing as he is probably the more desperate of the two to leave faster. As soon as Loki makes it safely to the ground, he looks back up at Tony, signalling for him to hurry up. Tony nods and slips backwards out the window. Unfortunately for him, lube from the stair prank was on the bottom of his shoes and he slips instantly, and all he can do is bless every God out there he didn't shriek, just embarrassingly flail his arms out in a feeble attempt to steady himself, obviously failing. He hears Loki curse and Pepper gasp when he slips. He braces himself for impact, but instead he lands heavily in someones arms, and they both tumble to the ground, grunting with the impact.

"Oh my God are two alright?" Pepper says, rushing over to check Tony and Loki over.

"I'm right." Loki grunts, pushing himself up off the ground, "What about you, Tony?"

"I'm ok, probably." Tony groans, but then grins as he thinks of something, "Hey, I guess I just fell for you, huh?" He smirks as Loki scowls, hiding his fast rising blush behind his hand.

"This is no time for jokes, you know. We must hurry and leave." Loki mumbles, holding out his hand and dragging Tony up onto his feet. "Ms. Potts, you saw nothing. If anyone asks, you didn't see us."

"Um, excuse me you two. Where is my explanation?" Pepper frowns, but there's a smirk on her face, "I did just rescue you both, from something, did I not?"

"Ugh OK, fine, but you'll have walk with us. My car is parked kinda far from here." Tony says, "Oh hey, Loki, my keys? Guess we didn't need them after all."

"Ah, right," Loki fishes in his pocket and grabs the keys, flinging them to Tony, "Well, our plan was fucked to begin with, honestly." He smiles lightly.

Then hit hits Tony. Really hard, like a freight train hitting a deer that decided the grass growing in the middle of the tracks was a Holy Forbidden Snack that was too tempting to pass up. Maybe it was the smile, maybe it was how he maybe liked the closeness from the bathtub, maybe it was how that simple prank got the adrenaline running in him. Who knows when, but it's only now he's noticing. Loki was fucking hot. Cute. Gorgeous. Maybe he's thinking it because you know what they say, that thing about two people who go through something together become closer. Tony can't remember the quote, but remembers enough to get the idea. That sure was a hell of an experience to go through. Or maybe he's just touch starved, lately, who knows. Not him, that's for sure. All he can think right now is Loki's smile was cute as hell, but those piercing eyes just shoot cupids arrow through his heart themselves.

Then again, he's only met the guy face to face once before tonight. He loves their conversations, he's been glued to his phone all week. He vaguely remembers really liking Loki's hair back at the cafe, and he realizes again; maybe this crush has been there the whole time and he's too daft to notice. That's probably it, he thinks. Fuck.

"Tony are you alright?" Pepper asks as Loki waves his hands in front of Tony's face.

Tony snaps back out of his thoughts and realizes he's been staring blankly ahead for who knows how long. "What? Sorry I was thinking."

"What were you thinking about?" Loki asks, "You seemed pretty spaced out."

"Oh nothing important, really." Tony waves it off, "Anyway, let's hurry to the car."

Once they could no longer see Thor's house, Pepper piped up, "Ok, so clearly you guys didn't want to tell me what was up while at the party, so tell me now."

"Ok, so you know our stair prank? Well, we lubed the stairs so much we couldn't get down them any more, so we were going to climb from Thor's balcony. Long story short, before we got to get to the balcony, Thor came into the room and we hid in the bathroom while he and Bruce were fucking." Tony replies.

"Oh my God." Pepper says, "I'm sorry I asked."

"You wanted the story didn't you?" Loki says, "That's the shortened version. We can always give you the details."

"Please do not." Pepper says, "Listen, if you guys are leaving now, then I might as well do that too. It wasn't a business trip so I don't really feel obligated to stay. Hey, Loki, I'll give you my number, ok?"

Loki nods and hands his phone, unlocked, to Pepper who opens contacts to add her own. "Sure, go for it."

"I'll add Tony's too, while I'm in contacts." Pepper says.

"Oh, you don't have to d-" Loki starts but Pepper is already typing in Tony's number.

"You already have his number?" Pepper frowns, "Hey, wait why's his contact nam-" Loki slams a hand over her mouth as she looks up at him. He gives her a look that screams if she says anything, then death will be on it's way to her earlier than the Grim Reaper had planned.

"Wait, what's my contact name? Loki you said it wasn't anything important..." Tony grins, knowing Loki's probably given him a nickname same as Tony did for him.

Loki snatches his phone back and quickly changes Tony's name in his phone. "It's nothing." He mumbles.

"Well, I've over-stayed my welcome." Pepper says, a smirk on her face,"I'll be off." She gives them a mock salute, turning on her heel and walking back towards the party. Her car was probably parked back there. She was smart enough to know that the name MrShortNCute was something Loki absolutely would take to his grave with him, if he had the chance.

"Oh, bye Pep." Tony says, giving her a wave, "Be safe."

"See you, Tony." Pepper replies, "Good night to you too, Loki."

Loki gives her a silent small wave, turning back to Tony. "Let's go then, shall we?"

Tony raises an eyebrow at him, "What was my contact name?"

"I told you, it was nothing." Loki scoffs. "Lets go, alright?"

"Was it a nickname? I hope it was good." Tony grins.

"I'm not saying." Loki glares.

"Why, you embarrassed? Don't worry, I've given you heaps of nicknames in my phone. Depends on my mood. You're still Lube Party Master at the moment." Tony shoots back, "Can't be that bad."

"Stop pressing the subject! I'm not going to tell you what it was!" Loki raises his voice, but does his best not to shout, "Also, hearing you say 'Lube Party Master' out loud is really weird, don't do that again."

"Jeez, fine. Sorry." Tony frowns, "But you cant stop me saying Lube Party Master. Speaking of, I should change your nickname in my phone again. I should change it to spoilsport for not giving me the name you used, but I wont."

"Do what you wish." Loki grumbles.

Tony pulls his phone out, opening contacts and clicking on Loki. About 30 seconds later, Tony is popping his phone back in his pocket. "Done."

"What did you change it to this time?" Loki asks quietly.

"Wouldn't you like to know." Tony replies smugly, watching as Loki glares at him out of the corner of peripheral vision.

"Childish." Loki scoffs.

"Is it, though?" Tony shoots Loki a pointed look.

"Ok, fine, I get your point." Loki replies, quietly seething to himself. "But I'm still not telling you, so give up."

"Pity." Tony says, "I hoped to get it from you."

"You seem to hope for a lot of things." Loki replies. He hadn't said it in a negative way, and Tony notices that.

Tony frowns for real this time, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You seem carefree, but you're actually kind of tense. Anxious, perhaps? But because you act like you're carefree, and I use the word act in a literal sense, my best guess is that you're running purely on the hope everything will go fine for you." Loki replies, glancing at Tony, "Sometimes makes me wonder if you're getting help for that."

"That's perceptive. I met you face to face twice." Tony mumbles.

"I suppose I'm just a perceptive person. But it shows in your texts a bit, too." Loki says, "Always trying to make the best possible outcome for every situation, whether it requires it or not. Could be a fear of failure though. You're running on hope though. Anxiety too, I'm sure of it. But that comes with hope."

"You a psychologist, or something? You should look into that as a career choice." Tony grumbles.

"I could never be a doctor that deals with listening to people's problems. I can hardly handle my own shit, let alone people in general." Loki drawls, the thought itself seeming to make him feel sick, "Not my area of expertise."

"Understandable." Tony shrugs slightly.

They arrive at the parking lot, easily picking out Tony's car, what with it being the only car in the area at this time of night. He felt slightly thankful that the kids in this neighborhood were somewhat decent this time and hadn't thrifted his car in the hour he'd been at the party. Ooh, bonus; no graffiti either. Must be a school night. Tony and Loki jump in the car, and start the engine. As they begin to pull out, Tony slams on the brake. Fucking hell, he thinks, there it is.

"Why'd you stop?" Loki says, looking around the car in alert.

"Flat tire. Probably slashed." Tony growls.

"How do you know?" Loki questions.

"Few reasons. I'm an engineer, I instantly can tell somethings wrong. Also, common sense when driving should tell you when the car feels weird when you're driving. Secondly- the kids in this area are shitbags. Last time I was here they jacked my car and took off. I caught them pretty quick, obviously. You can't steal from Tony Stark. Time before that, well, imagine the graffiti." Tony grumbles, glaring as he shifts the car into park and pulls the handbrake.

"I've never actually drove a car before. I'm a man of public transport." Loki says, somewhat proud of his lack of skill on this side of the common mechanics department.

"Driving isn't really for everyone." Tony says, getting out the car and slamming the door. Loki gets out too, for lack of anything better to do waiting within the car. Can you open the boot, see how many spares I have? I'll assess the damage."

Loki goes to open the boot while Tony skirts around the car, checking each tire for the punctures. Great. His car has suffered multiple stab wounds to the wheels. Luckily it's just one of his front ones. But there were a lot of holes. This is one tire who's going to have to me melted down and remade if it was ever to be usable again. The thing was absolutely shredded, and not in an 6-pack kind of way. Unless you're considering a 6-pack to be stab wounds. he checks the final tire at the back on the drivers side. Great, another stab wound. But it hasn't fully deflated yet, and is kind of messy. Either the person who did this one was weak, suggesting the slashing was done by multiple kids, or it was fresh and they saw Tony and Loki on their way, panicked and did a shoddy job. Likely. It was still very slowly hissing. Probably the reason he hadn't spotted the damage to the car instantly- it would have been on an incredible tilt.

"There's no spares." Loki says, looking at Tony with silent worry. "Also, I think the boot of your car has been robbed. Scratch marks around the locking system suggest a shitty pick locking method, probably stolen from a YouTube video or something. You might want to check the front, see if anything has been taken from there too."

"Shit. Front doesn't matter, I didn't have anything important there unless they wanted fast food rubbish and bottles of soda. I guess I'm lucky there wasn't anything in the back either, other than my fucking spare tires." Tony grumbles. "Gimme a few minutes, I'll call a cab then get someone to pick up my car tomorrow."

Loki shuts the boot up again, turning to lean against it, watching Tony make a couple phone calls, talking animatedly with his hands, facial expression kind of strained from the stress. He runs a hand through his hair, Loki watching every little movement. The night lights at the park illuminating everything in a clinical white glow, bright, yet not at the same. Loki soaks in the view, quietly pulling his phone out and snapping a sneaky picture of Tony with his hand in his hair, yelling at someone over the phone. Despite the tension in his face, he seems somewhat calm for someone in the middle of an argument. Loki decides then, that Tony is anxious and hiding it behind a false temper. After all, you can be an incredibly anxious person and use the facade of calm to appear to be fine. Tony finished his phone call and Loki walks over to him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, you ok?" Loki asks.

"I guess. Cab will be here in 20 minutes." He says, slightly leaning into the touch. "Hey, sorry about this mess. It was going to be a fun night and now it's kinda destroyed."

"Don't be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for." Loki frowns, rubbing calming circles onto Tony's shoulder, "Besides, what's to say this night cant still be fun? We're free of that awful party, we can do whatever the hell. We're adults."

Tony chuckles a bit at that, not noticing Loki's small smile, "I suppose. Anything in mind that you want to do?"

"Could go see a movie." Loki suggests.

"Home or Cinema?" Tony asks.

"Either, really." Loki says, "Though Cinema just means more people."

"Home it is, then. Mine or yours?" Tony says, he's smirking now, "I can order takeout. Neither of us actually ate tonight, did we?"

"Yeah, that's fine. I guess we'll go to yours, I don't want my nosy neighbor knowing I have friends." Loki says. "He'll be all on my case again. I mean, not that I used to mind, but..." Loki trailed off, not wanting to really bring up his personal past to Tony in the middle of a deserted parking lot. As if saving him from conversation, the cab pulled up. It was most certainly not 20 minutes. Maybe 5.

"Oop, Cab's early. Really early, Pep must have done that. Bless her." Tony grins, grabbing Loki's wrist and dragging them both over to the pulled up cab.

They scramble inside and Tony gives the driver directions to his home. They sit in the backseat, to chat together. Voices low as they discuss trivial matters, and as the ride continues on Loki notices that Tony's anxiousness slowly ebbs away and he seems to be genuinely enjoying himself. The night was still young, and Loki thinks that, just maybe, for once he's going to enjoy himself on his birthday.


	4. Chapter 4

The cab driver has been paid, he's racing down the street away from them. Loki and Tony had thanked him profusely for his troubles. The two were standing outside Tony's door as he unlocks it, leading them inside afterwards. Loki looks around and hums in appreciation. It was spacious, large and didn't really have a homey feel to it, but that stuff aside, it had a gorgeous view, and Loki had one hell of a thing for views. The view doubled in quality as Tony walked forward with his arms out like a showman, or a ringmaster.

"Welcome to my humble abode, enjoy your stay, everything is free to use." Tony grins and does a little bow as Loki smirks.

"Beautiful view." Loki replies, "Get's better the longer I stare."

"Glad you're enjoying it." Tony says, wandering over to the bar and starting to mix himself a drink. "Want one?" He holds up the canister, Loki nods lightly.

"So what movie are we going to watch? Your birthday, you choose." Tony says, glancing up at Loki.

"I don't know. I don't usually watch movies." Loki says, "You choose."

"We could binge a TV series, instead? Could make it become a regular thing." Tony suggests, trying to sound calm, but Loki sees through his charade, knowing it probably took a bit for Tony to be able to say that.

"I wouldn't be opposed to that." Loki says, sending Tony a small smile when he knows the man has his eyes on him, subtly letting Tony know it's ok.

Tony finishes up making the drinks, bringing them over to a lounge area, placing them both on the coffee table. Then he makes himself comfortable on one end of the couch, grabbing the remote, flicking the TV on and then flipping through Netflix. Loki seats himself beside Tony, pulling his legs up on the couch. He'd left his shoes at the door beside Tony's. He didn't usually bother to take off his shoes, but since Tony did it he figured it would have been rude not to do it as well.

Tony finally settles for a series that looks somewhat interesting to the both of them, Loki takes a sip of the drink Tony made. It's really fucking delicious and lets out a small sigh of contentment.

"Is it good?" Tony asks, "I hope it is."

"It's really good." Loki replies, taking another sip. "I could drink this all day."

Tony's face turns red and he turns away and rests his cheek on his hand, "Glad you like it. But it's really strong so I highly recommend you don't have more than one of those."

"Maybe I'll have to have one next time I come over then." Loki replies, watching Tony closely, gauging his reaction. The small smile on Tony's face makes Loki's heart flutter and he looks away, back to the TV screen to change his focus.

"That's fine." Tony says quietly.

They get through 3 more episodes before Tony's phone starts ringing. He grumbles and pauses the show, gets up to grab his cellphone and check who's calling. "It's Thor?" Tony says in confusion. "Must be wondering where you went. Probably going to ask if I saw you left."

Loki rolls his eyes and pulls out his own phone, checking if he got any messages from Thor he hadn't noticed. Nothing. He frowns, and wonders what Thor could be calling Tony for.

"Hey Thor, what's up? Sorry about leaving the party early, had something come up."  
"Woah calm down. You found what? I didn't realise I left it there... where was it?"  
"Ah. Well. Ok, I wonder how it got there."  
"I'm sure that's not the case."  
"Anything but that, probably."  
"Return it to me at work tomorrow or something, listen I'm kind of with a vip right now?"  
"Thanks buddy, see you."

Tony slammed the hang up button as fast as he could and his expression changed into one of mortification. "Oh my God."

"What happened?" Loki asks, unable to control his curiosity.

"We left evidence." Tony whispers. "Well, I did, but if he figures out I was with you then you're busted too."

"What? For the lube prank? Obviously he knows it was me but how did you leave evidence?" Loki asks.

"Not the lube prank." Tony squeaks. Actually squeaks. He goes back to the couch and throws himself down, covering his face with his hands. "Bathtub. My wallet was in the bathtub. His. Thor's."

"Oh." Loki says. Then panic hits him too, "Oh. Oh ok. Maybe there's a really good excuse you could use?"

"We literally left my wallet in his bathtub, the window open, and the ladder underneath. Bruce was with him, I'm sure he told Thor that when he grabbed the lube the window was shut. They absolutely know at least I was there while they were banging." Tony whines.

"It could be worse. They could have caught you in the act." Loki says, trying figure out how to get Tony out of the situation they both dug themselves into.

"It does get worse." Tony groans, "He thinks I fucked someone in his bathtub. Chances are he might think it's you, probably. But I can't be sure, he never mentioned your name!"

"What the hell?" Loki replies, eyebrows raising, "Why would he think that you fucked someone in his bath?"

"The lube. The empty lube. The one you put back in his draw? Remember we chucked that shit on the stairs and railings? Also the fact we are literally, as we speak, covered in lube? It's probably all in the tub! He probably made the connection between us both doing the prank, then he probably thinks we banged in tub. Sure, he's not that brainy, but Bruce is." Tony says, "Easy connection to make, honestly."

"Well. How..." Loki begins, thinking of how to finish his sentence, "How... do you think we can dispel the situation? Any suggestions? Because if we tell Thor we're friends, he's going to try and convince me to work for you. I, no offence, do not want to work in that line of work."

"No offense taken, you told me that when we met." Tony replies, "I guess I'll try and convince him it wasn't the case."

"Let's just see how tomorrow goes first." Loki says, "I assume he's returning the wallet to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Tony sighs, "Maybe I should tell him truth? Maybe twisting the bit about us being friends, just a Prank Acquaintance, or something?"

Loki thinks about it, "That might work best, actually." He mutters, "We couldn't get down the stairs, so we were going to make a break for it using the balcony off Thor's room, went to wash our hands in the bathroom on our way out, him and Bruce came in, we hid in the bathtub when Bruce came in to look for lube. Pepper helped us out the window with the ladder from the garage."

"Blunt. To the point. Ignores the mini details." Tony nods, "Might as well use it."

Just then Tony gets a text. He looks down at his phone. It's from Bruce. "It's Bruce. Oh man, here we go." Tony mutters. At this point the drink Tony had made has been completely forgotten, still sitting on the coffee table.

 **[BromineUraniumCerium + IodineAmericiumBismuth]**

 **[BromineUraniumCerium]:** Hey.

 **[IodineAmericiumBismuth]:** Well hey there. Also I'm so sorry.

 **[BromineUraniumCerium]:** I fixed up your problem.

 **[IodineAmericumBismuth]:** What? How? Also thank you?/ So much?

 **[BromineUraniumCerium]:** I told Thor that I put your wallet in the bathtub because I saw you had left it on the stairs in all the lube. That, btw, I know you put on the stairs with Loki, but I didn't mention that.

 **[BromineUraniumCerium]:** I told him that when I was getting something I chucked it in the bathtub because it was all sticky.

 **[IodineAmericiumBismuth]:** When you were getting more lube you mean? Also thank you so much, you're my best friend, you know that right?

 **[BromineUraniumCerium]:** Oh my god you were actually there? I'm sorry for not telling you about Thor and I. Wait was Loki there too? I didn't see either of you guys after the stairs incident.

 **[IodineAmericiumBismuth]:** Yeah he was there too. We kinda had to huddle in the bathtub to stop you from seeing us. I'm sure you noticed the ladder near the window later.

 **[BromineUraniumCerium]:** Yeah, I pushed it away from the window. Smashed a few plants, but at least it was gone.

 **[IodineAmericiumBismuth]:** I owe you my life. Loki does too now. He doesnt want Thor to know we're hanging out.

 **[BromineUraniumCerium]:** I wont question why.

 **[BromineUraniumCerium]:** Though, you guys seemed to become friends pretty quickly. I'm happy for both of you honestly. Thor tells me Loki hates people. He's had few people he was close to.

 **[IodineAmericiumBismuth]:** Oh I see. Listen, I'm with him right now. We're watching Netflix. Thank you for your help, you honestly saved our lives.

 **[BromineUraniumCerium]:** Oh, it's ok. I kind of owed it to you for not telling you about Thor and I despite us being best friends. We'll call it even now, ok? Neither of you owe me anything.

 **[BromineUraniumCerium]:** I'll let you get back to Loki, Ok? See you, Tony.

 **[IodineAmericiumBismuth]:** Thanks, Bruce. Have a good night.

"No need to panic anymore." Tony says, his mood heightened so much more he feels like he could dance."Bruce covered for us! Thor no longer suspects us! He was probably just unhappy about the lube stairs!" Tony is full on grinning as Loki sighs in relief.

"Your friend Bruce is a true Godsend." Loki says, sinking into the couches soft cushions and letting relief wash over him.

"He sure is. Said he owed me for not telling me about him and Thor. Not that I mind, I mean, but sure." Tony grins and stretches, pressing a button on the remote, pulling up Youtube and scrolling through his playlists. He clicks one, full of older songs. Songs Loki hadn't heard in years. "Come on, let's dance." Tony grins, pulling Loki up off the couch.

"What are you doing?" Loki huffs as Tony drags him to the center of the room, "I don't dance."

"We are safe from Thor. This calls for celebration." Tony says, placing a hand on Loki's waist and grabbing his hand with the other. "My energy is having a spike at the moment, I have to ride this adrenaline wave out."

Loki rolls his eyes, but goes along with Tony's plan anyway, letting Tony lead him around the room in a series of twists and turns with some dips and twirls chucked in too. He didn't seem to care they weren't really in time to any of the songs that came on, they were more adrenaline inducing background noise at that point. But seeing Tony's grin and the way his eyes sparkled made Loki not really want to stop. He had a hard time trying to tear his eyes away from Tony's, so he doesn't. He gives up trying to avoid it. Every time they accidentally step on each other's feet they laugh, neither of them were really all that great at dancing.

Then Loki's phone starts ringing and the atmosphere seems to break, Loki sighing in annoyance as Tony mutes the volume on the TV. They don't let go of each other as Loki answers his phone. The call doesn't last very long, just Loki muttering a 'sorry, yes I'll head back now' and a 'I forgot, I'm sorry!'. He hangs up and shoves the phone back in his pocket, putting has back onto Tony's waist, ignoring how good it felt in this position with Tony despite there being no music playing anymore.

"I have to head back. I forgot my neighbor was minding my cats." Loki mumbles, "Sorry. Listen, I had a good time. Thank you."

"Pity you have to go so soon." Tony replies, unconsciously tightening his hold on Loki. "Want me to drive you back?"

Loki laughs lightly, "With what car? With what wallet? I assume your license was in that wallet."

"Ah. I have a spare license but..." Tony chuckles, "Yeah. Car."

"I'll get a cab, don't worry." Loki says, he slips out of Tony's grip, slowly making his way for his shoes at the door.

"Hey. I may not have a car at the moment, but I didn't say I still couldn't drive you." Tony smirks, following Loki.

"Oh?" Loki raises his eyebrows.

"I have a motorbike." Tony says.

Five minutes later finds the both of them standing in Tony's garage, where a sleek red and gold sprayed 2014 Harley Davidson FLHTKSE sat there, not a speck of dust on it. Tony clearly took really good care of this beast. Loki would be lying if he said he wasn't impressed, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't super excited to be getting a free ride home on it. Tony grins as he looks at Loki's face, knowing what he was probably thinking. He grabs a spare helmet from a metal shelf nearby, chucking it to Loki while pulling his own over his head before slipping on the gloves as well. He figured he should change out of his current shoes, but decides not to care too much this time around. Which, he understands is dumb, but whatever. He hops on the bike, patting the seat behind him for Loki. Loki slips behind, wrapping his arms around Tony's waist.

"Hold on tight, Loki." Tony's somewhat muted voice comes from the helmet, "You'll have to point which direction your house is, I have no idea."

Loki nods, even though Tony cant see it, "It's around the Asgard District, but just after it."

Tony huffs out a laugh, "You can just say Sakaar, you don't have to be embarrassed. The rent is cheaper down there despite the areas ... reputation. It's understandable, don't worry." They take off into the night towards Sakaar District.

It takes them nearly half an hour to arrive at Sakaar District, it would have taken longer on a normal day, but peak hour was over and it was late at night already, so the streets were far more deserted than had it been a few hours previous. Loki guides them down a small one way street, street lights were dim and flickering and eventually they pull up to a small block, a double story house that seems to serve as a double home, if the extra stairs to a door on the second floor gave it away. It seemed Loki had some kind of a share with the person who lived here, or at least they were flatmates. They park in the driveway.

Lifting the helmet off his head, Tony pipes up, "You live upstairs or downstairs?"

"Upstairs." Loki mumbles in reply, pulling the helmet off and patting his hair down to escape the helmet-hair he inevitably got. "My neighbor will probably want me to pick up my cats asap, aka no loitering in the garden. You can come inside if you want."

"Sure. How many cats do you have?" Tony asks, pocketing the keys to the bike.

"Not many." Loki says, brushing strands hair out of his eyes and tucking them behind his ears. "It's 2 girls and a boy. If anyone tells you to only get female animals, don't listen to them. Their tempers are far worse."

"I wasn't planning on getting a pet any time soon, honestly. I don't have the time. I couldn't give it the attention it would deserve." Tony admits, "But I'm excited to see your cats."

"I hope you'll like them." Loki says, and they jog up the stairs to Loki's door. The door isn't locked and he just opens it, walking in and holding it open for Tony.

"Hey! I'm back. You can go home if you want. Sorry about being later than I thought. I got caught up." Loki yells into the dimly lit apartment. The only light coming from what seems like the kitchen, judging by the bowl of fruit on the corner of a counter that Tony can only just see.

A tall man comes around the corner, his hair graying and Tony can't tell in the light whether his hair is naturally gray or not, but if he's honest he can't actually tell what age the man is to begin with. He glances between Loki and Tony with an absolutely lecherous look that Tony gets shivers down his spine. He looks somewhat familiar, but Tony doesn't know him and is fairly positive he's never spoken to him.

"New boyfriend, Loki?" Old Man says. "Please do be quiet, this time." He gives a wink to Tony and strides out of the door. "Cat's are in the bedroom."

After the man was gone Loki turns to Tony, "I apologize on his behalf. He's just... like that."

"It's fine. I think I've seen him before,actually. Maybe at one of Thor's gatherings? He pesters your neighbors as well, I assume?" Tony asks.

"Ah, you may have seen him once or twice. He doesn't stay very long. But no, Thor doesn't ... really like him that much." Loki turns and walks into the kitchen to grab himself a glass of water. "But no, he just pesters me really."

"Why does he get invited if Thor doesn't like him that much?" Tony frowns, he wasn't sure Thor had it in him to dislike anybody.

"Well, 'doesn't like' is kind of a blanket term." Loki pauses, "I guess closest description would be 'disapproval'."

"Why would he disa-" Tony cuts himself off, knowing the answer as soon as he opened his mouth to ask, "You bang the dude?"

"We had a thing." Loki splutters, nearly dropping his glass of water. "For a bit, anyway."

"Was it serious?" Tony asks, genuinely curious, remembering Bruce had said Loki only gets close to very few people.

"I guess." Loki shrugs at that, "Casual-Serious? I don't know. It was a little complicated."

"Who broke it off, if you don't mind me asking?" Tony says, he walks over to lean against the counter beside Loki.

"It was sort of mutual? I felt like being friends would have worked out better, especially since I wasn't sure if I'd have to move what with my constant being fired, and he because he was worried about his work. At the time, anyway. He's got a new job now." Loki says, "I'm going to be honest, since we broke it off, we've been casually fucking every now and again. But we had a rule that if either of us started dating another person for real, we'd stop. You know, morals and all that jazz."

"I see." Tony nods, "What's his name?"

"En Dwi Gast." Loki frowns, "I was never sure if that was his real name or not. I doubt it but... it's hard to tell. "

"Huh. He seems like a very flirty type of guy." Tony says, "Gave me a hearty wink."

"He's like that." Loki says, "He used to be a pimp so don't take it to heart."

"He was a Pimp, huh? That..." Tony trails off a bit, "Yeah, that kind of suits him. Does your dad know about him?"

"It does suit him, and no, dad never knew and I made Thor swear never to tell him or I'd never call him my brother again. Worked Like a charm."Loki says. "But afterwards, En, he quit his job though. Or so he says, but I personally think they gave him the boot. By that, I mean his employees were probably sick of him and all left to find other work."

"Why?" Tony asks.

"He gets... possessive? I didn't mind when he was with me, but I think he started not wanting to pimp out the girls and they wanted the extra money." Loki says, "That's my guess, anyway. He doesn't like to share, so how he got into the pimping business is beyond me. You have to a clean record and no criminal history. Which I highly doubt he has either of. Or maybe that was just to own a brothel, I can't remember."

"What does he do now?" Tony asks, he hadn't realized just how interesting Loki's past actually was with just his tenant alone. Makes him curious about the rest of Loki too. "You said that was his old job?"

"Oh, "Loki laughs, "He just works at the 7-eleven up the road now. Says it's more calming. Nobody has been able to rob him yet."

"Huh. He's making a living off 7-eleven?" Tony frowns, he was fairly sure the man was wearing some goddamn gucci shit.

"Yeah, but he used the money he had from Pimping to buy a couple of places to rent out for a constant source of income. He's got it fairly well made." Loki explains. "Ok, let's stop talking about my ex, Ok? You wanted to meet my cats?"

"Oh right, the cats!" Tony says eagerly, even though he wanted to ask more questions, like maybe if Loki still had feelings for this ex Pimp of his, "Yes, let's see the cats."

Loki smiles and leads him to the bedroom, as soon as he opens the door 3 large cats with huge bushy tails come bounding out of the room and straight for the kitchen. Tony laughs as Loki frowns at being abandoned. They follow the cats into the kitchen and the cats start meowing as soon as Loki comes around the corner.

"Yes, yes, alright my babies." Loki coos, opening the pantry and leaning down to a bag of cat biscuits, taking a huge scoop of them with a small jug, and taking the biscuits over to a long ball. As soon as the biscuits are in the bowl the cats crowd around, eating happily. One of them was even purring.

Tony smiles at the sight, "They're so cute."

"Yeah." Loki replies, going to stand beside Tony, "They are. Hey, did you want anything to eat? We forgot to order take out."

"Oh yeah, whoops. Sure. I'll pay over the phone, since I don't have my wallet. I have my card details memorized anyway." Tony says, he pulls out his phone and dials in a number.

They had decided on pizza. It had taken nearly 50 minutes for it to arrive and when it did, they'd barely even set it down on the table before En Dwi Gast made his way through the door, silently, not even making eye contact with everyone. He opened the pizza box as Loki just sighed and covered his face with a hand as Tony looked on in shock. He took two slices and left again.

"Well. That just happened." Tony says, "Let's eat, shall we?"

Loki nods, grabbing a few slices of pizza and moving to sit on the small couch. Tony follows suit after grabbing his own slices. He makes sure to shut the box up again so the cats didn't get into it. He moves and sits beside Loki, their sides pressed together. They ate in comfortable silence, both too hungry to really say anything anyway. Loki finished his pizza first.

"Hey. You can spend the night if you want." Loki says quietly, "It's really late and you have work tomorrow, don't you?"

"Can I? Really?" Tony asks, mouthful of pizza. "Thanks."

"You can sleep in my bed, I'll take the couch." Loki says.

Tony looks down at the couch then back up at Loki, he swallows the mouthful of pizza. "Absolutely not. This couch is tiny, Loki. Just sleep in the bed too. Unless it's a single bed... then I'll sleep on the couch and you can have the bed."

Loki turns his head away from Tony, hiding the fact he is very quickly turning red. "Yeah, sure. That's fine."

They finish up their pizza, Loki let's Tony shower first. They were still slightly covered in lube from their prank. Loki lends Tony some clothes, much to the other's secret delight. He absolutely inhaled their scent when he thought Loki wasn't looking. Loki chucked their dirty clothes in the washing machine together. They slip into the bed after turning the lights out.

"Hey." Whispers Loki, "Tonight was fun."

"Yeah, it sure was." Tony replies, "Could totally do it all with you again and again, never getting bored."

"It's weird we've only known each other literally a week." Loki says, "It feels like... Like we've always been friends."

"Like I've known you my whole life." Tony says, he rolls over to face Loki, "We click really well and your pranks are great and we have so many more of them to do in the future." He grins as Loki smirks.

"Yeah. We do click." Loki whispers.

"Man, I'm so tired. Thanks again for letting me stay the night." Tony says.

"Short'N'Cute." Loki blurts suddenly, nearly making Tony jump.

"What!?" Tony squeaks.

Loki turns red." Short'N'Cute. That was what I had your name as in my phone." He whispers slowly.

Tony goes red this time, "Oh."

Loki frowns, "I've just made things awkward. Sorry."

"No, you're alright. It's fine." Tony replies, "I, uh. Before I knew you, for real, back at the cafe. I used to see you a few times there."

"Ok?" Loki says in confusion.

"I used to uh, think you were really good looking." Tony says, trying to avoid eye contact with Loki.

"Used to?" Loki can feel a smirk forming on his lips.

"Well I still do." Tony mumbles, "So yeah."

"You're pretty good looking yourself, you know." Loki replies.

"How could I compete with you, though?" Tony grumbles, "If you were a Greek God, you'd be Adonis or something."

"That's quite the compliment." Loki smiles, "I can't one up that compliment, but I can one up you anyways."

Tony frowns, "What?"

Loki lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Date me." He says, voice barely audible.


	5. Chapter 5

**This is the end finally. I'm eating mint sticks and wondering why the hell I didn't just upload this whole fanfic all as one chapter instead of 5 chapters I posted in the span of 24 hours. Friendly reminder again I prewrote this fanfic at least a good 6 or so months ago but never bothered to finish the final chapter because I lost interest. So I finished it, and yeah. It's rushed but done.**

 **Start**

Tony sat at his desk, he hadn't been listening to anything Pepper has been saying since he walked into work that morning and sat down with a coffee. All he could do was stare blankly ahead of him.

Loki had asked him out. Loki. Had asked. HIM out.

While they were in his bed. Loki's bed.

He had said yes.

He's got a boyfriend. That's what dating means, right? Boyfriend.

Oh man. What was he going to tell Thor!? Nothing, obviously, as he had promised Loki.

His BOYFRIEND.

Tony was continuing his little freak-out as Pepper stared at him, having given up completely on trying to get his attention. She opts to opening her water bottle and pouring a little on his head. Tony flinches out of surprise, turning to glare at Pepper. "What's that for?"

"I have been talking to you for ten minutes and all you've done is stare at that cup of coffee." She says, "Something's eating at you, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong." Tony says, brushing the water out of his hair, as much of it as he could anyway, "Quite the opposite. Things are just fine and dandy. Fine and dandy, Pep."

"So what's happening?" Pepper asks, she sits on the edge of his desk.

"Promise you won't tell anyone at all?" Tony asks quietly. making sure no one else can hear him, despite the room being empty.

"You know me, Tony. My lips are sealed." Pepper says, making the zip lip motion.

"Loki asked me out." He says quickly. "Last night, I mean."

"Oh. I thought you were already dating. But you know, secretly or something." Pepper says.

"What? What makes you thi-" Tony stops. Last night when Pepper had seen Loki's nickname for him on his phone. That must have been the whole Short'N'Cute thing. "Oh. The nickname. Yeah, he told me about that last night. That's what got the whole conversation started, really. Now we're kinda dating. But we can't tell Thor. I don't see how it'll be bad, but I guess Loki thinks it will be. Overreacting, but I'll still honor his wishes."

"You're really nervous, Tony." Pepper says quietly, she lays a soothing hand on Tony's shoulder. "Don't worry, it will all be fine. You wont mess up."

"Man, you always see right through me, Pep." Tony mumbles.

"Just... let him in and he'll let you in too. You might have more in common than you think, and even if you don't, you can still be there for each other." Pepper says, "I've got to do my work, and I suggest you do the same."

She gets up to go and Tony thanks her for her wise words of wisdom. As soon as she's out of the room he whips his phone out and brings up Loki's contact. He'd vaguely forgotten that he had changed Loki's contact name as he went to message him, nearly having a small panic attack in the process. PrincessPetty is not a name he intended to keep. He thought it would get a rise out Loki last night after the party when he wouldn't tell Tony what his contact name was. Doesn't really matter now, Tony thinks. He goes to change it again.

 **[PrincessPetty + ScienceDaddy]**

 **[name changed to TallSexyBF]**

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Hey. You free again tonight?

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Yeah

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Free up 7pm. I'm taking you on a real date.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Gotta take the bike still though. Haven't got the car back yet.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Sounds nice. What should I wear?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Depends. Where would you like to go for our first date~?

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Anywhere, really. I'm fine with anything.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Then I shall surprise you. What's your favorite food?

 **[TallSexyBF]:** I will literally eat anything but, as the kids say these days, I am a 'slut for chocolate'.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Or if I'm going to be honest, the sweeter the better.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Ooh, I know just the place. I really hope you enjoy it.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** If you pick it out, I'm sure to enjoy it.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Just so you know, my face. .

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Very red.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Makes me want to squeeze your cheeks. I love it when you blush.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** God we've been together literally less than 12 hours and we sound like saps.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I haven't even kissed you yet!

 **[TallSexyBF]:** You had better fix that soon, then.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** You're making it really hard for me to concentrate on my work.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Want me to stop?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Fuck no. Never stop.

After five or so minutes with no added reply, Tony figures Loki's probably a little busy and goes to text Pepper, to give an extra 'thanks' for talking to him.

 **[PepperPig + EternallyTired]**

 **[EternallyTired]:** Thanks again Pep.

 **[PepperPig]:** You know, I should have said this before but I only just thought of it.

 **[EternallyTired]:**?

 **[PepperPig]:** Well you said Loki didn't want to tell his brother and you're not sure why he's worried about it.

 **[PepperPig]:** I have a theory.

 **[PepperPig]:** Maybe it's not necessarily Thor's reaction he's worried about. Maybe it's that Thor has... well. You know he cant keep his mouth shut.

 **[EternallyTired]:** Ohhhhhhhhh. Daddy issues. Makes sense except he told me he didn't want to tell Thor because he's worried Thor would make him try to work for Stark Industries.

 **[PepperPig]:** Well ok but still. He's handled Thor doing that a lot, so technically that shouldn't make any difference.

 **[PepperPig]:** So it has to be the daddy issues, even I wouldn't say that to him. I mean, we already know they don't get along. Everybody who knows Loki for over a minute or even knows the family knows.

 **[PepperPig]:** It's never been a huge secret when the whole family is so overly dramatic about everything.

 **[EternallyTired]:** Kardashians of the business world.

 **[PepperPig]:** Shit, you're right. That's them.

 **[EternallyTired]:** Odin sex tape 'accidentally' leaked.

 **[PepperPig]:** I ought to block you but I know it's no use. Also I can almost visualize the emojis you didn't send but very clearly wanted to.

 **[EternallyTired]:** ;)

 **[EternallyTired]:** I'll let you get back to work with thought's of Odin's sex tape in your head. Bye Pep!

Tony quickly shuts his phone off and gets back to his work, actually motivated to get it done and finished for the day so he can rush over to Loki's for their date. The place he'd chosen doesn't really need to be prebooked, you can just walk in and sit down, and he knows Loki would prefer something not so high class anyway. Parker's Sugar Emporium was truly a great place. Tony always goes there to get eclairs. He never used to be a fan of them until Pepper had made him try one from PSE. He's never bought sweet stuff anywhere else since. It used to be a small little shop, getting just enough attention to stay open in the expensive city, but after Tony's constant tipping he single-handedly managed to help them get a bigger store and hire more employees. The Parker boy himself trains them all, and Tony's really proud on how far such a young boy has been able to go. The food there is more expensive now, but as the silver and salmon sign says in the window, half of the proceeds to go to charity. They have a broader selection of goods now too, including doing breakfasts and dinners as well as a selection of both vegetarian and vegan foods. Parker truly managed to create an establishment fit for everyone.

Tony smiles to himself, knowing that Loki would love the place, even though he'd probably already been there considering it's popularity and all. But even if he hadn't then that's great too. He was practically vibrating in his seat from excitement, feeling as if the day just couldn't go by fast enough. The time on the clock read 10:56 AM. Aside from nerves about his date with Loki, he also remembered he had to deal with Thor coming in today to return his wallet as well. It took another hour for Thor to turn up.

"Hey Tony!" Thor shouts across the office at Tony is whacking the side of the coffee machine, causing the man to turn around and look up to see Thor waving his wallet in the air.

Tony leaves the coffee machine alone and walks over to Thor, pocketing his wallet quickly. "Hey dude, sorry about all this."

"It's fine. Just wondering though, did you help my brother with the prank? I know Bruce says you probably didn't but I don't know." Thor stares at him and Tony tries not to look too suspicious, "I mean Bruce found your wallet on the stairs. He says he did anyway but..."

"Would Bruce lie? He's too nice to do that." Tony chuckles.

"That's the thing, though." Thor says, rubbing a hand through his hair, "Let's talk in your actual office, and not out here."

Tony nods and they both wander back to Tony's office.

"What is it?" He asks Thor as they sit down in some of the chairs strewn about the room.

"Well, the wallet had lube all over it and I assumed it was from the prank on the stairs that my brother obviously did so at first I assumed the both of you had escaped via the tree on my balcony but..." Thor mumbles, "Then Bruce said he put the wallet in the bathroom because he'd found it on the stairs and it was sticky."

"Yeah?" Tony urges, absolutely hating where this conversation was going.

"That can't be right because the lube wasn't on the stairs when we came up, and we didn't really notice it until, well, later in the night. Bruce can't have done it." Thor says, having the decency to not look Tony in the eye.

"You're saying I was in your bathroom?" Tony replies, feeling everything grow infinitely more awkward than it already became.

"Well, you had to have been but I don't care about that just..." Thor seems to sigh, "Did you fuck my brother?"

"No." Tony, "Promise. Swear to God I didn't."

Thor lets out a huge sigh of relief, "Oh man, thank God. I always hoped he wasn't the kind to put out on the first night of meeting someone."

Tony decides to not say anything about whether Loki 'puts out on the first date or not', he doesn't really know if Loki was like that or not but assuming his ex was the En Dwi dude he's not entirely sure how Loki would actually be. "Well now that is all cleared up, thanks for returning my wallet."

"Oh yeah, by the way heard about your car. Sorry that happened to you." Thor says and Tony just shrugs in reply, "Why'd you park so far from the party though?"

"Felt like a walk, I guess." Tony says, deciding it was best not to mention it was an escape route. Thor just nods.

"Well thanks for the chat, I'm sure you're very busy so I'll leave it to you." Thor says, standing up to leave. Tony quickly thanks him for returning the wallet again and as soon as Thor is out of the room he whips out his phone to text Loki.

 **[TallSexyBF + ScienceDaddy]**

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Thor came into work to return my wallet to me.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Was a very awkward conversation.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** What happened?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Bruce's excuse didn't work he knew we were in the bathroom.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** But the funny thing is he didn't care we were in there.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** He straight up asked me if I fucked you and when I said no he let out this huge sigh of relief and left the office.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** What the fuck?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** I know right! I was so nervous! He literally said to me 'I always hoped he wasn't the kind to put out on the first night of meeting someone' and I was all ? ? ? ? Wow THAT'S what he was concerned about!

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Holy shit. Did he find out about us though?

[ScienceDaddy]: Nope. I don't think he did. Probably just thinks we're friends now or something.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Close one.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** So what should I wear for our date tonight?

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Whatever you want!

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Ok then. Naked it is then.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Not that I'd mind, but perhaps the other customers might.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Then tell me what attire I should wear or I swear I will absolutely turn up in sweatpants and a crop top.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** You know what? Make it tight jeans and you're good to go because I will pay to see you in a crop top.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Not on a date.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Fine, just casual wear is fine, but the place doesn't really have a set standard.

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Thank you. That's all I wanted to know.

 **[ScienceDaddy]:** Well then see you tonight ;)

 **[TallSexyBF]:** Yes. I shall let you get back to work now.

Work went way faster than Tony thought it would and finally it was time to leave. He jumps onto his motorbike and heads back to his own home. When he gets there he notices his car is parked in the driveway, and he makes a mental note to thank the people returned who it to him later. He runs inside, he's got an hour and a half to go pick up Loki. He quickly changes into some clean clothes, a simple pale orange dress shirt with some black slacks. He doesn't care too much about the color combination at that moment; being far too excited for the actual date. But just to be safe he adds one of his beige leather jackets. He would have gone for an overcoat but he'll be using the bike again so he'd prefer to be on the safe side.

He makes his way down to the garage and tops up the tank with some gas, although he wasn't quite low, being better be safe than sorry always helps. Not that he cares about that, but Tony wants this date to go great and if a little extra safety precautions are needed to do that, then so be it.

Jamming on his helmet and revving up the bike, Tony pulls out and makes his way to Loki's home. It takes Tony closer to an hour to get to Loki's place, nearly twice as long as it took the previous night; thanks to the difference in time and traffic. Damn the later peak hour traffic. When he arrives, Loki is closing up his apartment. En Dwi is probably not looking after the cats this time, he figures. Loki turns around and sees Tony, smirks and takes the key out of the lock. He walks up to Tony as the other is taking his helmet off.

"Hello again." Loki says, "Haven't seen you for a while."

"Yeah, it's been ages." Tony grins, "My how the years go by. You look not a day older."

Loki huffs a small laugh and climbs onto the bike behind Tony, grabbing the spare helmet from the trunk; modified, of course, because Tony sure does like to make everything his own. Loki had chosen to lightly tie his hair back in a ponytail for their date, along with navy slacks and a faded emerald green button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Tony tried not to drool over the sight. Tony made Loki wear his leather jacket, having seen the man had forgotten his own and he'd rather Loki be safer. Tony had seen enough graphic car crash videos and pictures in the weird online groups he liked to secretly go through when he was having a bad day. He was thankful Pepper never caught him, the things there are things she wouldn't want to see.

The actual ride to the date location was uneventful and traffic was at the point that it was slowly dying down and the roads were clearer. After a few minutes of casing the area they finally find a place to park; not even a five minute walk to Parker's Sugar Emporium. They climbed off the bike, Tony pocketing the key and slinging an arm around Loki's waist. Helmets stuffed into the modified trunk.

"So, have you figured out where we're going yet?" Tony grins.

"I have my hunches." Loki replies, smirking down at Tony, "It's Parker's, isn't it? You seemed to be cruising around the place when we were trying to park."

"You been here before?" Tony asks.

"I've had some of their food, but I haven't been here in person." Loki says, "En picks their stuff up sometimes. When he cant finish it he gives it to me." Loki mumbles something about En not really bothering to buy Loki something for himself but it cuts off halfway as Parker's comes into sight.

"No need for reservations, by the way. Something I love about the place." Tony grins, "I hope you like it here."

"I get the feeling you're a regular." Loki says as they clamber in through the door. "Looks nice in here."

"Hell yeah I'm a regular. I helped the kid get on his feet." Tony grins, "His stuff is honestly just the best, and I'd never go anywhere else."

"Kid?" Loki says.

"Well, not so much anymore. But still really young. He was just 17 when he started helping in the shop with his aunt. Realized he had a future in cooking, and now he's here." Tony says, looking uncanny to a smug proud father, "That was four years ago."

"You're pretty proud of him." Loki says, a small smile playing across his face.

"Fuck yeah. The kid was bright enough to work for Stark Industries and I'm so proud of him for choosing what he loves best." Tony grins, they take a seat at the back of the place, "Added bonus that he's skilled at everything he does."

Loki smiles and picks up a menu, scanning through it, "Looks like they have some pretty good stuff."

"Order what you want, I'm paying." Tony grins, already knowing what he's going to order so he doesn't even bother with looking at the menu.

Loki decides to try one thing from each category on the menu, hoping he doesn't need a trip to the dentist after it all. Tony watches fondly as Loki scans the menu, carefully choosing. Eventually a waitress comes over and asks for their orders; once collected, Tony and Loki chatter quietly among themselves for a bit, waiting for their food to be brought to them. Finally it arrives and Tony cant contain his grin as Loki's eyes go wide as he takes in the sight of the beautiful food before him.

"Tony, this looks amazing." Loki says in wonder as he picks up a piece of chocolate and pops it in his mouth.

"I thought you'd like it here." Tony grins, resting his head in his palms.

The date was going smoothly until the door of the cafe opens and Thor walks in, closely followed by Valkyrie.

Loki's eyes go wide in shock and he freezes a second before ducking under the table covers as fast as he can, and Tony thanks everything there is to thank that he himself didn't react to anything that just happened. Not even a second after Loki made his disappearance did Thor turn and spot Tony sitting at the table.

"Tony!" Thor bellows, walking over and clapping a hand on Tony's shoulder, "Didn't expect to see you here."

"Hello Thor." Tony says, slipping his hand under the table, "Listen, may I have a word with you out the back of this place? It's work related." He makes a running gesture with his hand, hoping Loki get's the meaning. A small pat to his hand tells him the message got through.

"Why not here? You have a free seat!" Thor beams, pulling out the chair Loki previously occupied. Tony goes stiff and tries to control his facial features as Thor seats himself down.

Tony was about to make another attempt to relocate Thor when a waitress comes over and ruins it all.

"Are you ready to ord- Oh, what happened to the other gentleman you were with?" She asks, frowning.

"Bathroom." Tony says quickly.

"Oh ok. Shall I come back when he comes back?" She asks, her nametag says Mary.

"Yes that would probably be best." Tony says, trying hard not to glance down at the general location of Loki hiding under the table.

"Oh, I didn't realize you were here on business. Sorry. Should I leave?" Thor asks.

"It's a date, actually, so maybe you should actually leave." Tony shrugs, "I'll catch up with you tomorrow then?"

"A date, huh?" Thor grins, "Who's the lucky person?"

Tony clenches his jaw and replies, "Just somebody I find myself becoming a little obsessed with. They're gorgeous, and fun. Absolutely adorable." The adorable comment earns him a whack on the shins from under the table.

"That's precious. Sounds like a keeper." Thor says, giving tony a friendly fistbump on the shoulder.

"Sure is." Tony agrees, letting himself smile a little.

"You know, this place is nice but it's a little cramped in here. My legs are cramped sitting here." Thor says.

For Tony it was like it all happened in slow motion. Thor started to stretch, both arms and legs, Tony's eyes widened and he could feel Loki clutch at the hem of his pants and press himself as close as he could to Tony's legs. Thor stretches his own legs out, them disappearing under the table, the waitress returns in time to hear Loki sqwark in discomfort as his brother accidentally kicks him. Thor freezing as his own eyes go wide and he pauses mid stretch, eyes flickering to the table cloth and then up to Tony's eyes. The waitress, Mary, is standing there with the most neutral look and a tense strain on her face showing she was trying not to laugh at whatever it was unfolding in front of her at that moment.

For a moment it was like time stood still for a full minute. No one said anything and other customers were starting to notice something just went down.

"I... I'll come back." Mary says, backing away slowly, nodding.

"Tony." Thor says slowly. "Is there someone under this table?"

Thor's voice is barely above a whisper, and he points down.

"No." Tony lies, knowing it's pointless and they've been caught.

"My foot is literally on a living being right now and it is poking me with something sharp, my heel is in mild pain." Thor says.

Tony almost laughs, but manages to contain it. "Ok. There's someone under there but... I will literally give you anything you want if you do not look at them."

"Tony if there's something I want, I'll get it myself." Thor says, "Who the fuck is under here stabbing my ankle?"

Tony sighs and knocks on the top of the table, "Hey I think we're done for. If you want me to keep trying tap my shoe twice, if you think it's time to give up tap once."

There was a good few seconds of pause before a light single tap on Tony's shoe. A moment later Loki slips out from under the table gracefully as if he wasn't covered in bits of dust.

"Loki?" Thor says, "Damn it. I was wrong. There goes $100."

"What the fuck?" Loki says, "What weird fucking bet did you have going?"

"Well, it wasn't necessarily a bet." Thor shrugs, looking sheepish, "See, En came to me and said some things."

"Oh of fucking course he did." Loki scowls, pulling a chair from another table and dragging it to theirs. "What did he tell you?"

"Well I guess he straight up told me the truth. He told me you two were dating and I told him he was fucking nuts. He said if he was right I give him $100, If he was wrong then he'd never speak to me again and leave me be." Thor sighs, "Now I'm down a hundred bucks and I still have to see him walking around being a sleazeball."

"Aw poor baby. Wah wah." Loki fake pouts, "Your sweet little brother's ex irks you a bit."

"Shut up, Loki." Thor says, "At least it's Tony you're with. I'm fine with it."

"You're fine with it?" Loki repeats quieter.

"Dude, of course. Tony's a close friend of mine, and you're my little brother. I know Tony is a good man, he'd be good to you." Thor smiles.

"T-thanks." Loki mumbles. "How would... dad react? I don't want him to know because he'll try and get me to use Tony as a way to get a job with him, and honestly I was afraid you'd do that too, but maybe not."

"Loki, I'm sure dad would be fine with it. Promise." Thor says, "Also don't let him intimidate you into working with us. Do whatever the hell you want. Do some new courses and find something you're passionate about."

"I... Thank you." Loki says.

 _Later_

As Tony and Loki prepare for bed that night, Loki speaks up quietly, "You know, I think after talking to Thor that maybe... I think he gave me that push I needed. I know what I want to do in life, I think I always did but with Dad's obsession with work and that Thor likes the same work, it pressured and worried me a bit and so I forced it out of my mind but... "

Loki takes a deep breath.

"I think I'll be Ok." Lokie says, "I'm going to need some space to think."

Loki leaves the table and heads for the bathroom, Thor turns back to Tony.

"I hope he knows I'll support him wherever he chooses to go in life." Thor says.

"I think he'll find his way soon." Tony smiles. "I'm glad he talked with you, I wasn't sure if he would ever and I didn't want to pressure him into anything."

"You're good for him." Thor grins, "He needs that."

 **Epilogue**

As soon as the performance finished and the meet the stars was over, Loki rushed out the back of the theatre, spotting Tony instantly. His face lights up and he sprints across the room and into Tony's open arms.

"How did you like the show?" Loki grins.

"You were amazing! I was mesmerized the whole time." Tony laughs, kissing Loki on the cheek.

"We're barely half an hour finished with this production and the crew are already discussing what show we're doing next. 5 Voted Phantom, 5 voted Rocky Horror. We're waiting on our managers opinion. Those ones will take a long time to practice too." Loki rambles, his cheeks flushed from the adrenaline of the night.

"You worked so hard for this one too. You're so good at what you do." Tony smiles.

"I love you, you know that? Thank you for being here with me." Loki says.

"I have something to say." Tony says, tightening his hold on Loki. "At first I was going to wait, I had it all planned out. A nice short holiday, maybe go to the beach, but then seeing you up there tonight I think I can't hold back any longer. Will you marry me?"

"Of fucking course."

 **End**

 **Thanks for reading this story, and I apologise for the sudden and short ending. I was running out of writing stamina with this fanfic and I wasn't sure if I could continue it if I kept going, and I really didn't want it to end up the same as all my other abandoned multichap fics.**


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